I've Had Enough!

Apr 6

There he goes again! It’s been two solid weeks. I don’t know if I’m more annoyed or worried about this little guy. Don’t be mistaken, he’s not a human but rather a bird. A robin to be exact. Off and on for days he has been flying straight into my breakfast room window, beak first, making a loud knocking noise every few minutes. After a day or so of this madness and irritating distraction I decided to consult with the Audubon specialist. That would be my mama. (Even as I write this, my little robin friend is going at it. For sure, his neck must be getting sore by now!)

Mama instructed me to go out and look for a nest nearby. Lo and behold, there it was, 5 feet from our back porch in a large holly bush. Mama explained that since he is the dad of a new tiny brood of baby birds its his job to protect the nest. Each time he leaves the nest he catches a glimpse of his strong, handsome self in the glass of my kitchen window. He believes that this is an intruder. He doesn’t know its only a reflection of himself. He goes to attack in order to protect his family. He does it again. And again. And again.

I want to say to him, “Why can’t you just figure this out? Can't you see by now that the imposter is only you? I've had enough!”

It’s got to be so tiring to go on day after day fighting against something that isn’t even there.

After a few days of this constant tapping something hit me. Maybe God was trying to tell me something through Papa bird. Another beautiful gift I received from my Mama was learning to see God in nature. She constantly points it out for me and others to recognize.

“What could it be, Lord? Speak, I’m listening.”

And then God did just that. I’ve been wrestling with insecurity lately. I have been having an identity crisis. Who is Anna? Child of God or orphan? When I choose to believe the lies in my head of inadequacy, failure and shame I spiral downward - very fast. I can go hours attacking thoughts in my head trying to prove myself to myself and to others! I forget so quickly. That’s not ME. I’m fighting against something that isn’t even there. It’s so tiring. It’s so annoying and destructive to the true me that God made me to be.

He made me unique. He created me with gifts for His purposes. He loves me.

In Alabama sometimes we get crazy, quickly changing weather. Yesterday the temperature dropped almost forty degrees in twelve hours. This caused high winds, lightning and hail. In the night I woke up and remembered my new little robin family. Had their tiny home been damaged by the storms?

This morning I went out to walk the dog and peeked into the protective holly bush and there it was, the nest all safe and sound, not phased by the storm. Now that is what the male robin was made for! That is what he needs to believe! God made him the builder, the protector, the strong one for such a time as this. If only he could believe the truth of who God made him to be then he would stop the madness of the pecking on my window.

Strong warrior or intruder?

Who are you choosing to believe today?

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

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There is a battle within each of us. The war between the truth and the lies of our identity. The fight becomes real as we are faced with the challenges of life day to day. It’s unpredictable and scary. Fear sets in, shuts us down and feeds us lies about our stories. As I watch the robin I keep thinking, “If only another bird could come alongside the robin and tell him to quit fighting the intruder.” That’s exactly the purpose of the family of God. We need each other. We need community. We need to remind one another of the redemption in their story when they cannot believe it themselves.

For this reason Beacon People and the ministry of Second Story have joined together to create an amazing book of hope. We are so thankful for fifty brave women who stepped forward to write their story of God’s light piercing the darkness in life. They chose to do this for YOU. Reading these stories of God’s faithfulness and redemption gives us vision to see His light in our own story instead of believing the darkness that can never win.