After 3 weeks of people, food, errands, gift opening, relaxing and fun I'm feeling a bit of an emotional hangover. I feel blah, unmotivated and draggy, not just physically but very much emotionally. I wonder where my drive went? Just yesterday I texted a friend and said, “Is there an emoji that is a slug?” If there was I would have used it a number of times the last few days.
While I have loved every minute of the holidays and am so thankful for a break, enough is enough. Rest and relaxing is from God for a season and for that I’m grateful but there is a time for everything.
I feel very alone. It’s like everyone else is full of life and doing just fine this week. I’m pulled to believe that I am the tree that’s been thrown out because its dead and no longer needed.
I’m wrestling with why these negative emotions start to flow, for me, the day after Christmas and camp out in my heart until after the first of the year. Unmotivated and de-energized, questioning thoughts of my purpose and existence swirl. I struggle to get off the sofa. It’s as if my mind has been erased of any desire to work and produce through the work God has given me to do.
I wonder where my passion went? I miss it.
I am also dealing with a tremendous amount of fear and insecurity. Thoughts that weren’t there as we entered the holiday season are now saying, “I’m not really good at what I do.” or “Does anyone appreciate me?”
Chances are you are feeling the same way.
Why do the holidays do this to us? As I ponder, I believe it has something to do with investment and the way God has wired us. We get out of something as much as we put into it. This would definitely be true in this case. I have not done much at all towards my work and calling these last three weeks. Therefore, I've gotten no return emotionally on my investment. That's encouraging because I realize that as I get back to His work He has designed for me, fulfillment will return. He gives these positive emotions to keep our engines running for His kingdom.
So I got out of my chair, made a phone call to someone to share how I was feeling and I felt a drop of rain on my spirit. I felt a bit of oxygen enter my soul. Then I emailed and connected with someone that has been on my list for collaboration and again, more energy returned and I thought to myself, "Ah, there it is! It hasn't left after all!"
If any of this resonates with you, you are not alone. I think many who are listening for God's call on their lives and working towards that call are feeling much the same over the holidays.
Desiring richness and satisfaction in life is good. It’s God-given. Desire helps me see how much I love what He has given me to do. Resting and relaxing, then feeling empty is a good motivator to remind me why I was made. That longing for more than just parties, presents, food and relaxing is a really cool thing so let’s push for more in 2016. I like to compare it to the Christmas decorations around our house. By the time Christmas is over we are more than ready to pack them away and not look at them anymore! But then next year, when Christmas rolls around they will be fresh and new and we will be so excited to see them again.
Here are few tips to help you in the post-Christmas recovery process:
Get off the sofa. Take a walk.
Call a friend and share your thoughts. They are probably feeling similar and would welcome the call.
Make a connection with your God-given, purposeful work through a phone call or email.
Jot down some awesome things that happened in 2015 through your work.
Jot down some awesome things you’d love to see happen in 2016.
Together, let’s taste the gift again.
Greater things are yet to come!
Ecclesiastes 3:9-13 What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man.
One More Thing:
So, you might be reading this and thinking “I feel this way year round, not just post-Christmas.” Maybe you have no passion for what your day to day looks like right now.” Your job or the way you are spending your time just doesn’t seem to be life-giving. You long for more joy in your work. Kicking off a new year is the perfect time to re-evaluate. Yeah, I hear you…you have to pay the bills and I get that! Maybe the way to find more fulfillment in the day to day is to find life in new ways at your existing job, look for a new job, study a new skill or get a new education? Another thought might be to find more purpose in life by finding something outside of your day job in volunteering or giving back. Life is meant to be lived outside of yourself. If you are interested in embarking on a new journey, you might consider going through pathFINDER. This is a 4 week interactive journal to discovering your purpose. Go here to read more about this. It would be a great way to kick off the new year.